Photos: Porn Parody Shoot in the Castro Pokes Politicians and their Positions

Naked Sword Rally/Film FlyerOn a beautiful and warm Sunday the Castro found itself at ground zero, once again, in the ongoing battle around the City’s new legal stance on public nudity.

The debate took a decidedly odd, only-in-San-Francisco, twist when the political became porn parody for a hardcore feature film being produced by local SF studio, Naked Sword.

Sandwiched between the Girl Scouts plying their addictive wares and a never-ending flow of citizens and tourists unloading  from MUNI subway and pouring up into the neighborhood, about 75 purveyors of porn and the embattled SF Urban Naturist community held a mock/real protest under the watchful eye of the SFPD. Their target: Supervisor Scott Wiener and the City’s new anti-nudity law used as a political hot potato plot line in the soon to be released porn titled ‘The Cover Up‘.

Naked Sword, who supports the nudist cause, smartly decided to capitalize on the current political controversy and take the Supervisor, police force and the City to task over the restrictive ban all the while engineering a hot porno.

The film’s director, Mr. Pam Gaypornmama (not her real name), a longtime Castro resident reached out to members of the nudist community and invited them to take part in an outdoor protest/rally scene shot at Harvey Milk Plaza.

“I LOVE nudity!”, declared Mr. Pam as she addressed the enthusiastic crowd of actors, extras, protestors and committed nudist. “I live in the Castro-just down the street from Jane Warner Plaza-I see the naked guys every day. I don’t understand what the big deal is and it upsets me to see our City is being turned into such a conservative town by people like Scott Wiener. Let’s keep the Castro funky!”

Armed with a City film permit the faux/real, protest/porn shoot lasted about three hours. Characters in the film like Supervisor Scott Cox (get it?) played by Dale Cooper, Christian Wilde as SFPD Officer Dick, and a variety of nude ‘protestors’ portrayed by adult film actors, Leo Forte, JD Phoenix, Logan Stevens, and Derrick Hanson all took turns delivering scripted lines and exciting the demonstrators/crowd/extras/background players for various reactions.

‘Background’, as extras are often referred to in that ‘other’ film industry, were primarily members of SF’s nudist clans, their ardent supporters and porn star stalkers who milled about chanting slogans on command keeping the ‘live protest edge’ at work in the scene.

Gypsy Taub, one of the four Urban Nudist activists who brought suit in Federal court against the City around the constitutionality of the new ban, played herself in the film. She read a prepared nudist manifesto condemning the real life law eradicating certain public nudity over other acceptable situational forms of nudity and the people who concocted it. Mr. Pam is going to include it in the finished product.

All in all there were at least twenty people/protestors/actors fully naked during the shoot/protest/event. No arrest were made by the six police present.

The filming killed sales for the poor Girl Scouts who were just trying to make a buck and earn merit badges at their booth in front of the now shuttered Diesel store. Their cookies could not compete with all the fine bare booties bouncing about on the sidewalk.

Many of the neighborhood’s casual observers and Sunday strollers were confused by the event and stopped to either lend support or just gape in wide-eyed wonder.

An older woman looking as if she’d just come from Mass at the Castro’s Most Holy Redeemer, commented to me as we both oogled some of Naked Swords disrobed well endowed talent, “Hard to complain about naked guys wandering the streets when they’re hung like that!” she said with an impish grin.

Art imitating life spun through a political churn, spanked with tongue in cheek, San Francisco humor and reshaped into Gay porn. I couldn’t help grinning as it seemed, for the day at least, Mr. Pam had succeeded in keeping our little hamlet funky for just a wee bit longer.

Only in the Castro folks, only in the Castro.

Some pix NSFW. All photos by Waiyde Palmer © 2013

 

 

Waiyde Palmer

Waiyde Palmer loves San Francisco, social activism and punk rock(ers). His work has appeared in Handbook Magazine. SF Bay Times, The Advocate, Diseased Pariah News and American Music Press . He also has an extensive and repeatedly redacted FBI file.

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12 Responses

  1. Mavis Davis says:

    They should have made a point to buy lots of those girl scout cookies.
    Mavis Davis

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

  2. Matthew says:

    You know, when I first moved to SF, I thought the “nudies” were interesting. I would never have done it, simply because I would rather be nude at a beach, or with nature; not on a sidewalk. But that is just me.

    Then when the Jane Warner Plaza got built, it became a bit much. Then they started “hanging out” and making more of a spectacle of themselves. Wearing cock rings, dancing, etc.

    Now since they lost the battle, they sure have creative ways to stay nude.

    If they had taken all of their energy to do something creative or constructive, I am sure the community and the community leaders would not have fought they way they did.

    Like “Nudes to assist homeless”, or “Nudies clean the park”, or something that showed they were a valuable part of the community. But no, they wasted all of their time hanging out doing nothing. Now this latest “mockumentary” shows how low they sink to make their demands heard.

    Why not use your time and actually do something that benefits the community, and not yourself.

    These nudies are selfish exhibitionists.

    Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 8 Thumb down 6

    • Joe says:

      Well said Matthew. Couldn’t agree more. They are really getting pathetic.

      Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 4 Thumb down 4

      • Anonymous commenters are pathetic.

        Thumb up 3 Thumb down 3

        • Roy says:

          I feel the same way. I’m “this close” to requiring people to use either FB, Twitter, or WordPress accounts to comment. Many reputable publications do it and the current format allows for trolls to say whatever they want without being held accountable.

          Thumb up 4 Thumb down 2

          • Ramón says:

            Roy, I’ve noticed that you do all of the “heavy lifting” to maintain this blog, but it’s become the soapbox of the few who have made it their own; that’s one of the reasons that I’ve cut back on posting comments. I get the impression that you have a substantial readership, but people balk at having to deal with the same characters, over and over.
            I see Castro Biscuit as being more informative and useful than some of the blogs for neighborhoods due east of us, and it would be a shame to have it become the Daycare of the Castro.

            Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

          • Waiyde says:

            Here! Here! Couldn’t agree more. Transparency should be required to comment. Put a face and a name with your beliefs or go home. This anonymous bullying is tiresome.

            Ramon-and hello-Roy isn’t working alone. I am his trusty side kick. Like an older, sexier and more snarky Robin to his bike riding Batman.

            Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

          • Ramón says:

            Waiyde, I meant to include you – honestly I did, but I was so caught up in the moment.
            OK – I’m having a visual of you in green tights….

            Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0

  3. Now that you’ve won the battle to sterilize and homogenize the Castro I think it’s time to move on to other places where you’re “needed”. How about Amsterdam’s Red Light District. You can carry on and caterwaul about the prostitution and lobby for an Applebees to be built. Or maybe move to the French Quarter with a bunch of kids,stand on your balcony and yell “WHAT ABOUT THE CHIIIIILLLDREN?”

    There are still a handful of unique places left in the world that desperately need your gentrification.

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 2

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