Nude Dude at Jane Warner Plaza-NOT Richard Serra
The three-day trial of 48-year-old Richard Serra, a self-described ‘novice’ naturist, arrested amidst his first ever public disrobing for alleged public masturbation was found ‘not guilty’ after a single day of deliberation by a jury of his peers.
It all started on a brisk, but sunny, pre current nudity ban November day in 2012, when Mr. Serra decided to join the embattled SF nudist movement in the Castro for a day of letting it all hang out.
According to court records Mr Serra told jurors, “He’d never done anything like that before but felt strongly about the cause and the need to stand up for individual freedom.”
Arriving at Jane Warner Plaza determined to take part he suddenly was hit with a dose of serious pee shy and opted instead of fully disrobing to just pull down his pants to his ankles and lift his tank top up a bit above his waist line. He wanted to hide some scars he had on his mid-drift that made him self-conscience.
3 Ring Binder Rings-NOT the DIY ones Mr. Serra employed on that fateful day.
Trying his best to fit in with his fellows nudist, who he’d observed on other prior Plaza visits sporting elaborate cock rings, Mr. Serra brought along a steel ring he’d removed from a three-ring binder-like your fave, sticker embossed, 7th grade Trapper Keeper-which he then employed as his own DIY cock-ring. Admittedly things went kind of south from there on out.
According to the Public Defender’s Office:
He attached it to his shirt and looped it around his penis to ensure his scars were covered. Sierra stood in front of Citibank on Castro Street, his genitals exposed. Meanwhile, a 53-year-old man walking his dog saw Sierra arranging his genitals and flagged down two police officers on bicycles. The dog walker reported that Sierra appeared to be masturbating with personal lubricant.
SFPD confronted Mr. Serra who explained he was just finding his way with the whole nudity thing and was too self-conscious to be fully naked like the other street roaming, free spirited, naked guys. The officers also noted he’d been spotted with a tube of what appeared to be masturbation lubricant which he generously applied to his kibble and bits. Nonplussed with Mr. Serra’s story the officers had heard enough and arrested him for indecent exposure.
Is anyone else shaking their heads by now?
During the trial it came out the lube tube was medicinal, $100 bucks-a-pop, eczema cream. Mr. Serra has a bit of an issue he battles with that dreaded ailment and was applying it to his affected nether region when the observant citizen who’d made the initial complaint sauntered by on his morning constitutional.
When the judge asked for the verdict to be read and ‘not guilty’ echoed in the chambers, Sierra reportedly wept with relief.
Who wouldn’t? If he’d been found guilty he faced a maximum of one year in jail and the added humiliation of registering as a sex offender-which like a incurable case of herpes-follows you around for LIFE.
Let’s hope Mr. Serra is undaunted in his wish to pursue personal body freedom. I personally think he could do with a nudity etiquette sponsor who’d show him how the naked game works avoiding all the drama not to mention the huge amounts of wasted, SF tax payer dollars.